Whether performing a marriage ceremony or just living our lives, we all want to be mindful of others so they feel included. Thinking about the words we choose and how those words make others feel is an important step to being more inclusive. One way of approaching this step is to use terms that define the relationship, rather than the gender. For example, say parent instead of mom/dad. Or, sibling instead of brother/sister.)
The process of modifying our language can be awkward. That is okay. Don’t shy away from it. Instead, embrace the discomfort. This will help you become more natural and fluid when interacting with people.
This article provides examples of different terms that you may incorporate into your wedding services. Try them out. Of course, also discuss with your couples to reflect their wishes.
Greetings
When greeting wedding guests, consider moving away from, “Ladies and gentlemen” to a more all-embracing phrase. Try these on and see how they feel.
- Friends or folks
- Everyone
- Gentlepeople
- Excuse me or Pardon me
- All ye who attend this joyous occasion
Pronouncements
Some states (but none that JPus is active in) require a legal “Pronouncement.” In those states, legally declaring the couple as married is required. Sometimes saying “for life” is, too.
I now pronounce you…
- Married
- Joined in matrimony
- Together as one
- Legally wed
- Legally united
- Newlyweds
- This union joined
- Spouses for life
- A married couple
- United in love, partners for life
- Married in law and love
- Partners for life and love
- Equal partners
- United as one
- Hitched or joined or united
For couples who want to embrace their genders, a few spins on the tradition.
- Wives (or husbands), each to the other
- Wife and husband (instead of the usual husband first)
- Wife and wife or husband and husband
The Kiss
- You may kiss each other
- You may seal your vows with a kiss
Presentation
- Please join me in congratulating ….
- I’m honored to introduce the betrothed couple, for the first time…
- Please welcome the happy newlyweds
- Emma and Emily are married!
- The new Smith-Jones family…
- I now present our newlyweds, Jake and Dakota Brown
- I introduce you to Jack and Jill who are now joined in marriage
- Please congratulate Mr and Mx (pronounced mix)… Mx may be preferred by someone whose gender doesn’t conform with Mr, Ms, Miss or Mrs.
Related Articles
- To help your couples decide what titles are the best fit for them, share this blog article about gender neutral terminology
- Does your findaJP profile welcome all couples? We can help.
- Our Core Values drive the Association’s activities
- The Justice of the Peace Association’s Code of Ethics
- JPus is an ally and advocate to protect marriage equality.