Wedding Vows

Updated Wedding Vows

Posted on | Author Loretta Jay

Modern wedding vows

Wedding vows today are so much more than the patriarchal declaration of days (not so) long ago. When getting married, your officiant only needs an affirmation of your intention for you to marry one another. Finding the right words and tone for your wedding vows is a personal journey. Yo, Adrian! Marry me? Yes, Rocky. Done. To Have and to Hold On a technical level, to have and to hold means to possess legally, or to have permanent possession of something. The expression also suggests offering oneself to the other physically and intimately. Depending on how the rest of the […]

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The Perfect Wedding Ceremony Length

Posted on | Author Loretta Jay

Determining how long a wedding ceremony should be

Whether eloping or having a mega-celebration with 150 of your besties, figuring out how long your ceremony should be is something every wedding couple contends with. Of course, the rituals you choose to include (or not include) will affect its length. The wedding ceremony is what makes the day more than a party. You and your guests are gussied up for the moment. You want it to be memorable and meaningful. And, not boring. Terrific! The trend is shorter, especially for secular weddings. What Officiants Say To help determine what is the perfect length for wedding ceremonies, we asked the […]

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Gender Neutral & Affirming Wedding Terms

Posted on | Author Loretta Jay

Gender inclusive wedding terms

That feeling when both you and your guests feel included at your wedding ceremony? Priceless! Be proactive to ensure this is a reality. Using gender neutral and affirming wedding terms is one step to achieve your goal. Think about the words that you are using and if they carry additional (unwanted or unnecessary) significance. For instance, to do this focus on the relationship, rather than the gender. Words matter Your engagement is a special time of your relationship. As your wedding day approaches, the excitement builds. Naturally, you want to enjoy the process. Especially as you begin a new life […]

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Winter Solstice Weddings

Posted on | Author Loretta Jay

Starting your journey as a married couple on the first day of winter holds special meaning. December 21 is the winter solstice. It is also the shortest day of the year (for those in the northern hemisphere). Therefore, it is the longest night. Crisp air. The potential for a snow-covered backdrop. An appreciation and celebration of light and life! Vows and Poetry Solstice weddings can feel fresh and magical. They offer perfect opportunities to recognize life cycle traditions, and our connections to the earth and sun. Celebrate nature. If you have a December wedding planned, your Justice of the Peace […]

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Marriage Ceremony Repeat

Posted on | Author Loretta Jay

Celebrations During the past year wedding ceremonies changed. It wasn’t a choice – COVID forced couples to reckon with what is most important. The answer is simple. Love.  Hopefully you followed our advice to postpone the mega party and have two wedding celebrations: an intimate ceremony first, and then a larger affair later. Happily, later is almost here! As our communities receive vaccinations and it becomes safer to gather, celebrating with loved ones is becoming a reality. The Ceremony Therefore, the next question is, How to handle the ceremony?  There are many ways to think about this. Of course, one option is to skip […]

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Wedding Ceremonies that Unite and Heal

Posted on | Author Loretta Jay

Gay couple with a Justice of the Peace

One of the most significant parts of planning your wedding ceremony is determining what is said. You can write your own vows or ask your Justice of the Peace (or notary) to do so. Or, do it together! Professional marriage officiants are adept at talking with couples to elicit just the right information to be incorporated into the ceremony and achieve your vision. If you are struggling, they’re available to help you find your voice and create messaging that is all you! Let the Sun Shine In After a year of hardship and loss, consider your ceremony and its significance. […]

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Writing a Ceremony with Meaning

Posted on | Author Jean Lee

“I’m pregnant!” or “I won mega bucks”, mean life changing events. Last month, when I asked Linda, a future bride, if she needed an outline for their ceremony she said, “We just want to get married. Bring whatever.”  I said No. I had done that once and the words were hollow; we all felt ill-at-ease. When you put effort into seeking out beloved authors, stirring poets and historical verses, everyone wins! Linda and Matt (after finding their words) held hands under a majestic covered bridge. Her eyes glowed when she heard the words spoken that evoked memories and tugged on […]

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Writing Your Own Vows Part 2: How-To Tips

Posted on | Author Cynthia Dumont

So you’ve read last February’s blog about writing your own vows and overcoming stage fright, and now you and your fiancé have decided that this is what you both would like to do. Your ceremony is fast-approaching, but suddenly you have a case of writer’s block. Get Inspired If you are finding yourself staring at a blank screen, try these things to get the sparks going: Head space: Hit a bucket of balls, cast a line, walk the beach, or stare into a hot fire with a cold beer. Clear the clutter out of your head to make room for […]

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Writing Your Own Vows Part 1: Overcoming Stage Fright

Posted on | Author Cynthia Dumont

When you’re asked if you’ll be writing your own vows, how will you reply? Yes, I can’t wait to affirm my commitment in the presence of witnesses I’m not sure No, I’ll be too emotional to speak Before you answer, here are a few things to consider. A Moment in Time The moment in your ceremony where vows are exchanged is one of the most important in your life story; one that you will never experience again. It’s your opportunity to declare what you will do, or more importantly, who you will be in this union. Once the moment has […]

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Quiz Yourself to Find the Right Ceremony Tone

Posted on | Author Cynthia Dumont

Quiz yourself to determine the right tone for your ceremony

In a conversation with your officiant, you might be asked what you’d like the tone of your ceremony to be. Your JP wants your ceremony to reflect you as a couple — your values, beliefs, passions, and style. How would your ceremony feel overall if it were to express the essence of both of you? If you’re not quite sure how to answer that question, take the following quiz. Add up your answers at the end to find out what tone of ceremony might be right for you. Which of these venues is where you’d most like to be married? […]

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A Fresh Take on Old Traditions

Posted on | Author Cynthia Dumont

Updated traditions in your ceremony

“I like the idea of using the traditions that my mother and grandmother used in their weddings, but I also want to keep my ceremony fresh and a little unexpected.” Each of the elements in your ceremony, readings, rituals, and vows for example, plays an important role in defining your day. Like instruments in a symphony orchestra, when joined together in concert they should swell your heart. The officiant is the conductor. Be sure to have a conversation with him or her about what’s important to you so that it can be included in the score. To get the conversation […]

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Getting Married Later in Life? Anything Goes!

Posted on | Author Carolyn Egan

If you’re a mid-life (or later) bride or groom, “Relax” might be your mantra. That’s how one 55-year old bride (third wedding) was able to cope when she realized she’d left her bridal bouquet at home in the refrigerator. “My first two weddings were about pleasing other people,” she told Match.com. “But I ended up being very pleased this time around …. We both felt it was our ceremony.” Turning the ceremony into our ceremony can really make the difference when you are getting married later in life. Your ceremony can be anything and everything both of you want it to be. Find a JP who will help make that […]

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Your Marriage Vows — Real Or Fairytale?

Posted on | Author Loretta Jay

You want your wedding day to be a dream come true. But should it also be a fairy tale? When you write your marriage vows or talk to your Justice of the Peace about what s/he will say at your ceremony, are there stars in your eyes or are you taking an honest look at your future together? How realistic should your marriage vows be? You know that half of all marriages end in divorce but you don’t expect yours to be one of them. Still, would it make sense to say “I do promise to do my utmost to love you, for […]

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