There are many reasons a couple may want a commitment ceremony without actually getting married. As a professional who performs all sorts of lifecycle ceremonies, of course you’ll oblige.
Why Not Tie the Knot?
The particular reason a couple chooses not to make their union legally binding is peripheral. Despite that, it is important for officiants to understand some circumstances that could be driving decisions.
- Marriage is a legal act that may influence child support, alimony, divorce settlements
- One party is already married to another and for whatever reason cannot or will not end the previous marriage
- One or both member/s of the couple receive SSI and benefits will be reduced if wed
- A state-sanctioned marriage ceremony is unimportant to the couple
- Or any number of other possible reasons
The Ceremony
The couple will not be legally wed because there is no marriage license. Therefore, craft language that demonstrates the couple’s commitment to one another, but do not use language that is inaccurate. For instance, the word “married” and “marriage” or “husband”, “wife” and “spouse” would not be accurate.
Other terms, though, would be appropriate and lovely. Consider these: committed, joined, promised, together, grow old with, love, care for, respect…
No Fudging It
It would be a no-no for the couple to use the officiant to deceive guests into thinking they were legally married. Meaning, no pronouncement of marriage. Occasionally a couple may have second thoughts. In particular, after the ceremony they might ask you not to submit the marriage license. Even if they make this request, once the ceremony was performed it must be properly processed. Thus, legalizing the marriage.
Related Articles
- Officiants may perform different types of lifecycle ceremonies
- As a legal contract, marriages have legal implications
- This article explains how an officiant MUST process the paperwork legalizing the marriage, even if the couple says they changed their mind