Finding the right words to recognize and remember a loved one at a wedding ceremony can be tricky. Your couple is looking to acknowledge that someone special and recognize that the day isn’t quite the same without their presence. When memorializing the deceased, it is important to find a balance. You want to show show the love, but you don’t want to be a downer.
Words to Say
At the beginning of the ceremony, after welcoming and thanking the guests and sharing logistics, provide a reflection to commemorate the loved one. Consider some suggested language, below. Mix and match to find the right feel
- As family and friends gather to celebrate this special milestone, we think about those who we wish were here to celebrate with us. We remember all the times they were with us to celebrate and wish to include them today as well.
- At this time, wedding couple would like to remember grandmother Betty Smith, who was an important presence in bride’s upbringing and making her the beautiful person she is today.
- We honor the groom’s sister, who is not with us in person, but is here in our hearts. She is missed each and every day.
- Let us take a moment to remember our parents, who we miss dearly. Although they are no longer with us, they are present here in spirit; watching us, spreading their love, smiling, celebrating and blessing this union.
- Let’s recognize and remember Skye’s positive influence in the life of bride. In their honor, I ask you to please stand up and take a moment of silence to reflect in their love and their presence.
- The wedding couple wants to honor bride’s grandmother, whose love endures. She will always be in their hearts.
- Let us pause to remember the family and friends, especially the bride’s mother Daisy, who passed before us. Wherever they may be, their love and blessings are surely with wedding couple today.
- “Those we love don’t go away. They walk beside us every day. Unseen, unheard, but always near. Still loved, still missed, and very dear.” Poem by
- “You gave us beautiful memories, your love was our guide. And although we cannot see you, you’re always at my side.” Anonymous.
Things to Do
In addition to saying something during the ceremony, the couple may choose to have a station memorializing their loved one. When planning, it is helpful for the officiant to have a few ideas to offer, to help the couple find what suits them the best.
- Incorporate a candle-lighting ceremony
- Reserve a chair with a single rose on it or a photo of the loved one
- Create a memorial table with photos and a candle
- Include a photo and/or some words on the written program
- As part of the ceremony, have someone read a poem in honor of the deceased
Talk with your couples about the different ways they can recognize their loved one, and make them a part of their wedding day. As you lead the ceremony and memorialize the dead, remember to keep the remarks brief. Honor and move on. After all, it is a wedding celebration.
Related Articles
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- Guidance on the length of the ceremony
- Check out our findaJP blog articles, written for couples. They are good references for your couples, and your couples will feel grateful for the inspiration.